Magic Words, Caring Deeds

Good manners are a part of showing respect for others. Using games to reinforce manners provides children with the practice they need to learn manners without embarrassing themselves—or us.

What to Do

• Let your child know that respect for others can begin with something as basic as showing good manners, like
  • shaking hands in greeting;
  • looking someone in the eye while talking;
  • saying “please,” “thank you,” “excuse me,” and “I’m sorry”;
  • opening doors for others;
  • using expressions such as “yes, sir” and “no, ma’am” when speaking to older people; and
  • giving up a seat on a bus or subway to an older person or a person with a disability.
• At lunch or dinner time, have family members pretend to be eating in a restaurant. Ask your child how he should talk to you and to others at the table. What should he say when “the waiter” brings his food? How should he eat the food? What should he say if he wants to leave the table?
• Line up several chairs and have your child and other family members pretend to be on a bus. Ask your child to show you what she should say and do if the bus stops suddenly and she bumps into someone. How should she carry a large package on the bus so that it doesn’t harm or bother others? What should she do if she is sitting on a bus and there are no vacant seats when an older person gets on?
• When your child mentions something nice that someone did for him, encourage him to write a thank-you note. Explain that the note doesn’t have to have a lot of words. For younger children, it also can have drawings. After he writes the note, help your child to go over it and correct spelling and punctuation. Explain that taking the time to check and correct what we’ve written shows respect for the person getting the note.
• Let your child see you writing short notes to others. You might write a note to the mail carrier to thank her for helping you with a large package, to a neighbor to wish her well on a job interview or to a relative to congratulate him for winning an award.